This whole messy ordeal has advanced my Botox start date by at least two years. Like every other DABA girl, the economy was wreaking havoc on my relationship and youthful good looks. Phone calls went unanswered, Hamptons invitations un-extended, plans canceled (including, but not limited to, expensive opening night tickets to the ballet, which were scalped instead of being graciously offered to me and a galpal), and so forth and so on. Until – the horror of all horrors – my FBF lost his job, which I guess technically downgrades him to just my BF.
Overnight, he went from unavailable to downright clingy. He wants to have dinner every night. By dinner I mean staying in and cooking as Megu is no longer in the budget. AND, FYI DABA girls – chopping vegetables along side your man in a hot New York sized kitchen is NOTHING like the sexy kitchen scene between Mickey Rourke and Kim Basinger in Nine and a Half Weeks. Seriously. It sucks. Anyhow, he suggested I meet his parents over the holidays and he keeps commenting that half Asian babies are by far the cutest. My take on his 180: having no steady source of income for the foreseeable future, he realized that his chances of securing another fashion industry type girl are pretty much zilch and so he is cleaving to me as the last vestige of his former high rolling lifestyle.
Thanks to the recession, I now have a completely devoted BF, which is exactly what I wanted. So I should be happy, right? Wrong. I’m bored and can’t stop thinking about my perpetually unattainable Euro ex-boyfriend who is recession proof courtesy of an offshore trust account. To be honest, I’m only with my BF because I just don’t have the heart to change my facebook status from “in a relationship” to “I ain’t saying I’m a gold digger, but I ain’t messin’ with no broke banker.”
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If this isn’t all a tasteless joke then this is just really sad.
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To the author of this article- don’t mind the people who wrote comments above. They have no reason to be calling you a gold digger and making you feel bad. To those who commented above- what is the matter with you women, writing such things? Why would you assume she’s a gold digger? By the way, it is actually shallower to judge men by their looks or height than by how much they earn. At least money is practical and functional. And stop assuming that women who date such men are gold diggers! While some of these men want meaningless physical relationships, others are looking for solid women who are similarly well educated and successful. I, like many women I know who marry such men, have worked very hard to get our ivy league degrees and build impressive careers. On top of achieving that, we find time to work out, look good, and nurture the relationship into one hearing wedding bells. Many of us EARNED it, likely with much more impressive resumes than you criticizers.
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I have no idea why these men don’t realize that it’s their money that is keeping women like you at bay. I feel bad for the bankers.
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This has got to be a sick joke.
Princess is complaining about having to chop her own vegetables?
My heart bleeds. Truly.
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Gals, if your relationships are tanking with the economy, perhaps it’s because both have been similarly leveraged. Good companies, like Apple and Google, are built on long-term sustainable value. You and your swing-dick partners may want to regroup: fortify your investments with heart before credit, not the inverse, and you guys may survive our bear market supercycle and, hey, come out better persons too. Toodaloo.
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I think this is satire — but just barely. A friend told me several years ago that even though my husband made a lot of money it was better to be married to someone with family money, like she was. No arguing with that.
Take it from someone who’s been married to a finance guy since you chicas were on trikes: New York, to paraphrase SATC, is over, O-V-E-R. Move to DC and set your sights on the politic nerds. -
GUy who are commenting here are pathetic. The story is fun!
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I could be your huckleberry….
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hahahaha i never thought the recession had a humorous side until is aw this blog.
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That was a interesting NYTimes.com piece about DABA.
You can read it here: http://www.nytimes.com/2009/01/28/nyregion/28daba.html
After reading about, try this one: http://www.nytimes.com/2009/01/25/magazine/25desire-t.html
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I’m hoping this is all meant as a joke. If not….oh dear, how tragic to be you.
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Umm. Ok. Break-up with him. Talking about what your kids will look like is mega weird.
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In the immortal words of Fergie, “If you ain’t got no money, take your broke ass home!”
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This is the best blog ever! Whoever is writing this should write a book, hey, better yet, let’s start on the screenplay — it could be in the satire form like “American Psycho”.
This is the beest!
Keep writing!
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You go gold diggers!
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My ex was a Lehman banker until he was abruptly fired. 2 days later our relationship was over. Now no more corporate card, black cabs or fancy dinners.
Oh and no more Bergdorfs!
Now I shop online sample sales like Gilt Groupe- great great sales but its just not the same as Bergdorfs!For anyone else in the same situation, here is an invite to Gilt Groupe-
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This would simply be sad if you all weren’t going to probably get a movie/tv deal out of this. Gossip Girl for dried up shrews…
Gotta give you ladies credit: you make the a-holes behind every Wall Street Ponzi scheme deserve at least an ounce of pity.
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Gals,
The economy is going to tank and tank and tank.
The good news is that your blogsite may become very popular.
Keep working on it. -
Hahahaahahah! Brilliant satire I must say.
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This is a joke, right?
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I agree with you girls.
Dating a banker is hard work .
Dealing with his job loss will certainly diminish your lifestyle.
Spending time comforting him is not what you had in mind , you should be lunching with the girls or buying shoes —that’s a difficult job.It’s so great that you have found an outlet to share your misery . The rest of us feel your loss , we mourn with you .
You should divorce the bum and find someone else to support you
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I don’t understand why it’s so important for this blog to specify that it’s “free from the scrutiny of feminists”. What exactly does feminism mean for you that you feel so threatened by it?
Seriously, go look it up. Feminism is, very simply, the idea that women can choose to live their lives however they want to, without discrimination.
Yeah, I judge you. But not because I’m a feminist. Because you are vapid and shallow. I suspect many people agree with me.You are, however, clever and dryly funny. So, kudos on that. Maybe you can turn that into a decent career and stop depending on FBFs for your Bergdorf’s money and go earn it yourselves.
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Maybe you girls should set your bar a little higher and go for the PE guys rather than the bankers next time? BX may be at $5 but those guys are still getting paid!
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Ha, ha . . . the NYT got PUNKED!
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You should start dating bankruptcy lawyers.
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Date a doctor instead. The healthcare industry is booming these days.
And if this recession is really causing your relationships to plummet, I ask you to think twice before ever getting married. Once you get hitched, you’ll go through worse hardships than this.
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LADIES— It’s going to get worse before it gets better! Maybe its time to start relying for a man to foot the bill!
PS– having briefly dated a wall street guy, I can assure you that he’s probably high on coke getting a lap dance at scores and not thinking about you for ONE SECOND. -
*** I meant time to STOP relying on a man to foot the bill!
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I’m wealthy and have many wealthy friends. I have never met women like these. I live on the east coast, either this is a New York city phenomenon or it’s good satire.
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Good stuff.
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Date a doctor - more integrity and more stable job
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This is the greatest hoax of all time.
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As one of those political nerds, whatever is talking about I can only say HAHAHAHHAHA! Ahh if only the DABA’s would have given me the time of day two years ago. Now with a steady job in D.C. and a girlfriend with actual depth I think I’ll pass.
Face it D.C. is the new New York. And being a DAPA is the new in. Sorry you’re all yesterday’s news. And those of you who were dumb enough to marry the greedy, shallow, cheating, fat, balding, stressed out schmucks are STUCK!
HAHAHAHA. More than a little ironic. Life really is poetic justice.
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Love it.
I’m erring on the side of caution and assuming there is incredible tongue in cheek and humor in this as it seems some of the respondents above are taking it a little too personally and are a little too bitter. (Passed rejections maybe?)
Men should already know that a women who has a sarcastic sense of humor usually also comes with a little self-aware depth.
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Well you know what they say ” Bankers Do It With Interest”
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Love it.
I’m erring on the side of caution and assuming there is incredible tongue in cheek and humor in this as it seems some of the respondents above are taking it a little too personally and are a little too bitter. (Passed rejections maybe?)
Men should already know that a women who has this type of keen sarcastic sense of humor usually also comes with a little self-aware depth.
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i have an offshore trust fund and i’m taking applications for ex DABAs. i promise never to become needy or fully devoted to you. if interested, contact me at: bishopdonmagikwand@yahoo.com.
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no satire/hoax. these people here are dead-serious.
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“Date a doctor - more integrity and more stable job”
Except these days straight male doctors tend to want straight female doctors. So, *be* a doctor - more integrity and more stable job than dating a banker. Go back to school and take those premed classes!
You know how in the 1950s lots of women became nurses - some because they liked patients, some because they wanted to earn a living and not many other jobs let women in, and some because they were gold-diggers and wanted to meet doctors at hospitals? Now that more medical schools let women in, fewer male doctors marry nurses because more of them fell in love with their classmates during med school.
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i’m loaded…can i have a groupie with all of you?
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And they still think women lack humor?
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Funny stuff…makes me want to laugh and punch you in the face at the same time. You reap what you’ve sown.
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Are you SERIOUS?
Oh please, this has got to be a joke. -
I commend you on pulling out all the stops when trying to get a book deal.
Also, I have $4.37 in my savings at this exact moment.
It’s up for grabs ladies.
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Is he cute? I don’t do unemployed but if you cut him loose, I may throw him a bone
Facetious or not, this blog is written with wit and humor - thanks for sharing.Also, nothing wrong with a little yellow fever Get a Life — mixed babies are all the rage now…
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Why did he say half-asian babies are the cutest? Is he asian?
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I love and hate you at the same time. Great job ladies. You have truly pushed the unemploymentality into a new dimension.
http://unemploymentality.com -
idk. i stil love my banker bf.
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Themis: You mean all the white chicks with asian bf’s right? Because we know asians are really good at math. It’s only natural they become bankers and accountants as well.
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Priceless. Thanks to your brilliant blog i am hoping that my lady will cut me some slack and realize its not me, its the economy!!
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