This whole messy ordeal has advanced my Botox start date by at least two years. Like every other DABA girl, the economy was wreaking havoc on my relationship and youthful good looks. Phone calls went unanswered, Hamptons invitations un-extended, plans canceled (including, but not limited to, expensive opening night tickets to the ballet, which were scalped instead of being graciously offered to me and a galpal), and so forth and so on. Until – the horror of all horrors – my FBF lost his job, which I guess technically downgrades him to just my BF.
Overnight, he went from unavailable to downright clingy. He wants to have dinner every night. By dinner I mean staying in and cooking as Megu is no longer in the budget. AND, FYI DABA girls – chopping vegetables along side your man in a hot New York sized kitchen is NOTHING like the sexy kitchen scene between Mickey Rourke and Kim Basinger in Nine and a Half Weeks. Seriously. It sucks. Anyhow, he suggested I meet his parents over the holidays and he keeps commenting that half Asian babies are by far the cutest. My take on his 180: having no steady source of income for the foreseeable future, he realized that his chances of securing another fashion industry type girl are pretty much zilch and so he is cleaving to me as the last vestige of his former high rolling lifestyle.
Thanks to the recession, I now have a completely devoted BF, which is exactly what I wanted. So I should be happy, right? Wrong. I’m bored and can’t stop thinking about my perpetually unattainable Euro ex-boyfriend who is recession proof courtesy of an offshore trust account. To be honest, I’m only with my BF because I just don’t have the heart to change my facebook status from “in a relationship” to “I ain’t saying I’m a gold digger, but I ain’t messin’ with no broke banker.”
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Get a grip people. Markets go up, and markets go down. This is the life we have chosen if you can’t handle the juice STFU and get off the floor. You won’t be on the right side of every trade. Risk is part of life.
Doctors? Please. Once they socialize medicene they will be making less than cab drivers.
Lawyers? We’re churning out so many lawyers today Kelly Services is going to be pimping out associates for an eightball and a big mac a week.
Politicians? They’re more beholden to the source of wealth than any hedge fund manager or PE MD. If you can’t generate revenue, you’re not shit. Guess what politicos? You’re not shit.
Learn to love the stress. I know I am going to have a good year when they’re talking people off of bridges. The “math nerds” who just wanted the bonuses and girls who wouldn’t sleep with them in high school can’t handle it. Find who they are. For they are the weak. They are the low hanging fruit that is easily plucked from the tree of wealth.
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Why . . So . . . SERIOUS?
This is funny, but isn’t it a little bit of misogynistic schadenfreude to make fun of women who are merely using their god-given physical talents, the same way double-Ivy bankers are using their god-given intellectual talents?At least the women aren’t causing my Keogh to crash [just kidding - I went all cash at the top, of course].
And rough times do show a man’s true character. An Alpha Dog who wimpers in cold weather isn’t a real Alpha. He may read Alpha Magazine, but he’s all closeted Beta. You can get Beta with an index fund, you don’t pay 2+20 for it.
One last thing. Half-Asian babies are cute as hell. Smart, too.
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brilliant job with the blog- some fiction some non fiction but good for a smile. I concur with the financial guy above about leveraging on heart instead of money-
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The life of dating a banker - I’m dating a stock-broker and I feel your pain.
They should just stop complaining about the economy - get over it. LIFE GOES ON.
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Everyone struggles once in awhile, but men don’t like little girls who complain and blame everyone else for their problems. You girls should be go stand on the corner of Washington and 14th st working toward higher goals in life.
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This blog is written by either a Chinese or Korean girl. I think the latter…
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I just learned of this blog from an article in the Times. If the blog is a joke it’s brilliant. If it’s all true I enjoy it all the more. We always hung by a thread and everything’s absurd. Revel in it. Best of luck to all of you. By the way, spending my twenties getting that humanities Ph.D. and tenure suddenly makes me look like a financial wizard no. Sorry ladies, this rock solid HIGH five figure guaranteed for life income is already spoke for!!!
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Why . . So . . . SERIOUS?
This is funny, but isn’t it a little bit of misogynistic schadenfreude to make fun of women who are merely using their god-given physical talents, the same way double-Ivy bankers are using their god-given intellectual talents?At least the women aren’t causing my Keogh to crash [just kidding - I went all cash at the top, of course].
And rough times do show a man’s true character. An Alpha Dog who wimpers in cold weather isn’t a real Alpha. He may read Alpha Magazine, but he’s all closeted Beta. You can get Beta with an index fund, you don’t pay 2+20 for it.
One last thing. Half-Asian babies are cute as hell. Smart, too.
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Get a Life: Possibly, but their bios and pics indicate they are most likely Caucasian females. Judging by common stereotypes, I would assume the financial BF is the Asian half of that hypothetical baby…
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Pretty awesome. I think I get it.
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I’m not entirely certain that this blog is entirely un-feminist. All of the ladies have had their own careers and goals. I have not read anything to indicate that these women think that women are lesser than men - if anything, there is a vibe of superiority to men.
OK, with that out of the way - this blog is a product of NYC in the the mid-00’s. Manhattan had turned into a cesspool of greed - jammed packed with shallowness, lack of creativity (all the chicks in the same damn uniform), anorexia (seriously ladies, my bones are bigger than some of you), and well - emptiness. As sad a lot of these posts are, I see something hopeful in it.
Maybe the banker peeps are growing up? Women not wanting to be just a prop (how many assumed moves in this blog? Why would you want to be with someone who will make big life decisions for both of you without consulting you first? - dump that mofo, yo) Realizations that emotions are not cared for - why be with some guy who can’t be there for you?
But one big realization missing in many of these posts (but not all): That these banker dudes lack the emotional maturity to not totally loose it in bad economies. If these dudes (and I’m talking about the ones in this blog, not all banker dudes) had more of a sense of how to deal with stress and what’s actually important in life (said connections), this wouldn’t be so rough on you ladies because someone would actually be there for you.
This economy is bad on all of us - we all need to stick together. Even those of us who refuse to date bankers. (I work in consulting, no workaholics, thank you!)
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Funny…FUNNY stuff. Yes, the satire is fantastic.
gals..wanna catch a man? try shifting down-scale. I hear frugality is now the latest “in” thing. The real story will be how these girls go from pimpin’ lifestyles of the rich and bratty to shopping for roll backs at Wal-Mart.
I wonder what the 2009 “every under-40 something gal in NY has one” frugal uniform is going to be. Guess it’s time to retire those oh so “BR” Gucci pumps..
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Please write a book, PLEASE!!
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From today’s NY Times:
Ms. Petrus said. “It’s that he’s an alpha male, he’s aggressive, he’s a go-getter, he doesn’t take no for an answer, he’s confident, people respect him and that creates the whole mystique of who he is.”
Does the individual described by Ms Petrus make for a good husband and eventual father? Will he be there in sickness and in health? Will he be there for his children? How will he be in the long term?
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Found your blog via the Times article. Loves it!
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“6′2″. Check.”
Maybe she’d prefer someone who’s been Short in this market? -
This blog post: brilliant.
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This blog is hilarious
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The blog is funny as hell and congrats on the book deal.
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this is like the anti-love blog of our times.
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Date an artist - no integrity and no stable job - but we love kimchee!
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Epic trolling, my $1000 dollar banking hat goes off to you.
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Management likes it when staff put up Dilbert cartoons. Because they are venting, but not actually doing anything to change the stupid system.
Reading this very funny blog and laughing at/with these sad women… same thing.
If only their bulimia caused the cost of that dinner at Megu to go BACK into my 401k…
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Serious question to you city slicking ladies: when do my jeans and tractor become sexy?
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I wonder if there are any blogs like this for tech guys? Our tech guys also make a crap load of money and are also currently riding the emotional rollercoaster otherwise known as the recession.
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Dear Girls,
Thoroughly enjoyed reading your articles. Not particularly impressed with the outlandishness though. I rather hoped for more bitchiness and waaaay more gold digging. But I, nonetheless, enjoyed it.
Seriously, I work in finance. In fact, I work one of the most stressful jobs that exists. However, when I come home I do not (did not) whine about it to my gf (ex). I did not become clingy and I did not act like a menstrating bitch. I did not pick moronic fights and I most certainly did not talk about breeding children. No, I dealt with my stress in other ways. I came home, brought my ex in the bedroom and brought the noise. By no means would I claim to be a sexual dynamo, but when my work pissed me off and I was in a foul mood I recouped by LAYING SOME … PIPE.
My advice to you is to you is to find some new guys, finanz or not, who are not human emoticons. You know, guys who like played contact sports in college or guys who do not have emotions like eight year old blonde girls.
I hope your search goes well.
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I agree with Max. Ignore the haters, you should definitely write a book. My FH was laid off from Bear Stearns and even after he landed on another trading desk the market has dictated his mood/my plans/our social life ever since. This is refreshing to read because even though I love my husband like crazy - and would even if he was flat broke - I totally sympathize … and desperately miss my spa treatments.
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I have my engineering guy here in DC, with my half asian babies. Considering myself very lucky.
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Wow. The Times actually fell for this? This has to be written by the guys at leveraged sell-out.
I think that this is going to be “Grunge Speak 2″
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grunge_speak -
as a male country bumpkin not associated with the global financial community in any significant way, here’s my 2 cents. first, kudos on being mentioned in the NYT. i was impressed by that enough to check out this site. second, i am 53, you are in your 20s. check economic history and you will see that there are recession/depressions every 10 years, more or less (except when one gets involved in a war like ww2). You have enough time left to climb right out of this economic malarkey. i’ve done it more than once, by neccesity.
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Nicely done. You will probably fool about 75% of the people on the Internet because you know they want to find someone to villify, and writing fake blog entries from so-called gold diggers is a great way to get steady traffic. Golf clap! The problem is that these posts are way too over-the-top, it’s easy to see that they’re all written by the same person.
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Hello from Australia! found this through NYT. It is nice to relate to others in similar situations. I am married to an i-banker and we have children. This economy is one crazy roller coaster! Fortunately we have a very deep and strong relationship and currently view this time with anticipation and excitement (still currently employed thankfully though that could change in an instant and we are prepared) - one door closes and a new one opens. We make sure to live each day hard and try 110% of the time, so if it all goes pear shaped we know we tried our best. It is such HARD work much of the time, long hours, disruption, and requires such a serious level of dedication. My hats off to every i-banker who puts themselves through this and is successful! Did not marry for the money or lifestyle (had relatively little knowledge of i-banking back in the beginning!) so very thankful there is a solid grounding there to begin with otherwise we may have not made it though those really tough times. Keep the blog going, love reading and relating to other young women in similar situations!!
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Vote for Ron Paul he will save you
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If this market doesn’t pick up soon, I’m only going to be able to afford having sex with just my wife!
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You guys are hilarious. BTW I own a finance company and have been isolated from the worse of this nonsense. Unfortunately, I live in Chicago sorry girls.
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Hilarious. Nice work. Forget the book contract, skip to the movie rights.
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Dear girls,
reading this blog is a riot: it’s a rare and particular type of comedy and you are probably much better for it. Better to laugh about the numbers than cry over the spills. Keep it up and ignore the criticismPrashant
Munich,Germany
btw: I forwarded this to some girlfriends in the city.
They loved it! London might like it too! -
Write a book… hahahaha — what does these teeny bopper know’ about dating a banker. You only dated number cruncher who happened to work in IB. These girls know nothing — just because you go guzzling $300 vodka you think you know about dating a banker..lol You should know that for you and your number cruncher type are able to enter any establishment in any city, is because you have to pay for it — Bankers don’t pay because they bring in the client that pay’ — Women who are married to i-banker are given this pathetic blog too much credit — a blog that is written by a bunch of middle age 20’s — who will soon go to a crisis as they can’t get married by 27…lol — keep the crisis coming…
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Instead of creating a blog complaining, how about you call your BF and ask him if he is OK. Ask how is he doing? Give support. Since you go around spending his money how about giving the money back and take him out to an expensive dinner — do that instead of complaining. Then again, the money you will be spending to take him out may not be yours — its probably daddies money — lol…
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I think that it’s clear that this proves that Women Be Trippin.
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I am reminded of the proverb “if you’re going to marry for money, you’ll have to earn every cent of it”.
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Upon further review, I realize theres no way this can be serious. I’ve been had. Good work, should’ve realized that these were way over the top lol
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I’m not a banker, but I work in a related industry, and I’ve also done very well for myself. I’m in my early 30s, and my (newlywed) wife is in her mid 20s. We’ve been partying hard and enjoying the high life in San Francisco since she turned 21 (and maybe a few months before)… and it’s a damn fun existence. Money can’t buy everything, but when applied liberally to two already fun people… it’s a pretty great aphrodisiac.
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Good to see how vapid and selfish New York girls really are. You’re all single for a reason.
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Luxury-loving hedonists never develop into real people - just consumers of that which real people produce.
These women are sick and pitiful.
Go volunteer for a few hundred hours and stop thinking of yourselves so much.
It makes you ugly.
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Love it,keep writing!!
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Seriously… lightening up would be best for most of you.
Though I can’t say I agree with the author’s thinking, The honesty is refreshing.The letter made me smile and for that alone it was great! Though I’m nothing like this poster… (my BF is and always has been a broke musician), I must say, I felt some empathy while reading.
Loved it!
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you all r funny. i really enjoy watching gold diggers fall over themselves to get that rich banker. now it all came crashing down and it sucks.
oh well….little tip, love someone sincerely. wanna have the love and money. be loyal and stick by your guy when he is down. you never know when he might be coming back up fast.
thats what my wife did. loved me when i was a nobody and feeling low, stuck by me when i was building my business. now, i am a billionaire and i can say she deserves half my wealth. every single penny. and i have no regrets giving that to her.
STAND BY YOUR MAN!!!!!!!!cliche but true.
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OMG! I am addicted to this blog! Absolutely LOVE IT!
…get yours girls!
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BEST.POST.EVER.
an overall description of my former situation until FBF broke up with me. But now I’m in a complex dilemma: who to date? another broken banker and his mood swings? a cute broken guy that shares the bill?
Bad with them, worst without.
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