This piece, Welcome to your Quarterlife crisis, all rang a little too true. And as the finance guy who forwarded it to us said, “good article, basically about me.”
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great find! Interesting article to read, luckily I have a real job (i.e. finance haha)
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I can so relate to this article. As a 29 year old dating a fading FBF, I can only wonder 1) why I am still single; 2) why I should be sleeping with a guy who will not MARRY me; and 3) why I don’t move on to one of any number of men (admittedly not in finance) who would marry me on the spot (but who are kind of boring and who I might not want to spend the rest of my life with. So I have a dilemma–am I going to waste my life with an FBF who is making good money but who wont marry me, or move on to what might be something more stabile (married life), but with one of 3 duller guys. I figure that I DO want to have a family, and I DON’T want to have a family until I am married, so it might be smart to go with option 3. What do you think?
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Good to know I’m ahead of the curve. Already working on opening by own (non-law related) business and getting the hell out of the billable hour world.
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Sadly fascinating.
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Ellen–after many years of marriage, ALL partners will be just a little boring. There is something to be said for stability. You need to decide what is most important to YOU.
There is a lot of good in the boring, stable guys who will be there when you are in labor, the kid breaks an arm/wrecks the car/gets busted, or you just need a shoulder. Not all of them earn a paltry salary. Maybe they don’t reach the financial stratosphere the hedge fund honchos do, but how much money do you really NEED to be happy?
After eight or ten pair, even designer shoes (this does boggle my mind, but it’s true!) tend to lessen in their ability to bring a smile. Thirty pair of JC/MB/GZ’s, are not going to make you markedly happier than five. Besides, they do go out of style, and you only have two feet!
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Ellen,
How old is your current boyfriend? Why do you think your other 3 non-finance beaus are dull?
I’m sorry to hear your predicament, but it doesn’t sound promising that he’ll commit to you.I’d move on. At 29, your window of opportunity is closing soon.
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Jimmy: I would hardly call finance a real job unless you’re in quantitative finance. If you’re not one of those individuals then I’m sure you spend most of your time attending to calculations that you don’t understand or lying to clients.
Anything medical is a real career.
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If anyone can answer Ellen’s question, that would be very helpful to me as well.
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Mona: None of Ellen’s options will make her happy because she’s more concerned about being married than who she’s married to. She doesn’t want a partner, she wants a ring and a trust fund.
She also doesn’t know how to count/read. Her post gave no “option 3.” The options were to stay with rich guy who won’t commit or move on to a poor guy who will. The list of three things was not a list of options, but a list of concerns.
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Ellen needs to ditch the FBF before he ditches her. He’s not going to date her once she hits the dreaded age of 30, or starts to get wrinkles around her eyes (whichever comes first). He’s going to go for a younger, more attractive woman. That’s just how it is. So what Ellen needs to do is go look for a man in his 40s or 50s to marry. And to one of the points above, she needs to focus more on finding a man she loves, not just “getting married.”
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