FBF of the Week

 

 

I want to be there

I want to be there

 

 

 

Dear Daba Girls,

I am a potential FBF, I am in my mid/late-twenties working as a trader for a bank in Zurich, which is certainly not as big or as happening as New York however, having lived in a big city, I like it here. The ski slopes are only an hour away during winter and in the summer, weekend trips around Europe are all too easy to organize. Bearing all of this in mind; there is still one aspect of my life which is incomplete and that is: I am still a “potential FBF”. I am having trouble finding a decent DABA girl to share it all with. I lie awake at night dreaming of being mentioned (anonymously, and although this may defeat the object of the whole exercise in the first place, she would of course tell me all about it afterwards and we would both laugh about it…) on your website by a young lady who desperately needs help trying to figure out new and exciting ways of spending my money and of prying me away from the office.  

Don’t get me wrong, it’s not that I lack attention from the fairer of the species, it just so happens that I am unable to tell the difference between those that are truly worth it (DABA Girls) and those that aren’t (Bottle-popping girls).  So for the sake of “potential FBFs” (can you think of a better term for that one?) around the world could you please give me some pointers as to how to tell the difference between the two?  How do I know that the girl I may be chatting to at the bar is actually a complete sleaze who is just in it short-term for the cash?  And more importantly, how do I send out the right signals to the girls that are actually worth it?

Any help would be greatly appreciated.

Yours truly,

Timo 

Ah, finally we get some love from Switzerland, where the locals love cheese with holes, classic timepieces, and chocolate as much as we do. Not to mention the huge vaults filled to the brim with gold.  Don’t despair Timo. We can help.

Spotting a true DABA Girl is as easy as ABC (I’m watching the Michael Jackson tribute so just go with it). Take a cue from MJ and be on the look out for: 

A: Authenticity. A true DABA Girl is authentic in all that she does. Her boobs, laugh, and intentions are real. Her intentions with you, or any guy, may include a little somethin’ somethin’ about a man that can ‘provide a certain lifestyle’ but she will be honest and upfront about it. On the other hand, if she tells you she is just looking for a soul mate and then claims to love action movies, you have encoutnered a bottle poppin’ girl charading as DABA Girl and your B.S. meter should go off.

B: Boyish charm. I’m talking about her alpha personality. A DABA Girl doesn’t need you to order for her (but you should), she’s self sufficient, opinionated, and confident. Beware, she’s not going to let you get away with much. Make sure that your information on the late Mr. McNamara’s career is factual (she’ll know if you’re just regurgitating yesterday’s article from the Times).

C: Coolness. A DABA girl isn’t desperate. She doesn’t care if she meets you or not. Most likely she’s dating three other guys already. You’re going to have to approach her.

Which brings me to these easy steps:

1: You’re zeroed in on your girl. Whether you’re at a bar and she’s laughing away with her friends or sitting at a cafe reading Isadore Sharp’s Four Seasons send over a drink or stop and say hi. Simple as that. Warning: DABA Girls are not girl haters and therefore do travel in packs.  To get to her you may have to approach a group of 4+ women. If this intimidates you, you are not FBF material, and you should stick to bottle poppin girls who generally travel in two’s to avoid competition.

2: Be calm and confident. A DABA Girl wants to meet a guy who is uber confident and won’t be intimidated by her. Don’t be a jerk, but a sprinkling of cockiness never hurt.

3: If you click, ask her if she would like to get together some time. Call the next day (note: I said call, don’t text or email). Take her on a date that you would like to go on. Don’t take her to Benihanas because you want to make sure she’s not into you just for your money. Don’t take her to a five star restaurant, you’ll look like you’re trying too hard. Take her to a restaurant that you’ve been dying to try or one that you love.

If you are indeed the potential FBF you claim to be, we assume you can take it from here.

Share/Save/Bookmark

Tags: ,

  1. Lorri’s avatar

    I would be interested in at least meeting this guy if he gets to fly in to New York City. If he is looking for a true DABA, I don’t think I am there, yet, but I have alot of potential. I will NOT sleep with any man on the first date and will only be deferential AFTER he proves that he is interested in me for more than causal sex. I do enjoy fine dining, so I would want to know that he would not be cheezy with the food. I am also realistic and do NOT expect flowers every time he sees me. If he is interested in a DABA in training, like me, he can always e-mail or TXT me. I don’t care that much for TXTing, but if he can do that from Switzerland or wherever, fine.

  2. Julien’s avatar

    The twelve Labours of Hercules must have been so much easier than achieving these three steps !!! I believe we have got to practice … approaching a group of 4+ women ??? at least in Europe - I don’t have a clue if the american guys don’t mind, but here, it would be almost M:I …
    Sincerely yours and missing your posts; from your F(rench)BF.

  3. Metropolitan Mum’s avatar

    In all your helpfulness you missed one crucial point: the poor chap is living in ZURICH. As soon as people hit 22, they stop going out. The best clubs in the city (it’s a village, really) are populated by boarding school kids and c-list celebs. Where would he find a true DABA-Girl? I haven’t met one in my year in Heidiland.
    Living in Zurich is like slowly dying from the inside. And yes, I know what I am talking about. First hand experience.

  4. BL1Y’s avatar

    Regarding Point 1, a group of 4 girls is easier to handle than a group of 2. You might feel more pressure at first, but it’s easier to pry a girl away from a large group. With a group of 2, your girl isn’t likely to abandon her friend. She doesn’t want her friend to be the weird loser girl standing by herself.

    Besides, the bigger the group, the better your odds that you’ll be someone’s type. Don’t zero in on a specific target right away; actually talk to everyone in the group. Her slightly less attractive friend might end up being a way better match. No reason to make a decision without your due diligence first.

    And for the record, even DABAs are girl haters. Just look at the way they talk about bottle poppin’ girls. They travel in groups because it allows them to form subgroups and exclude the other girls who are with them (this is also why the Blue Man Group always has at least 3 people, so that 2 of them can exclude the third).

  5. BL1Y’s avatar

    Julien: Don’t be such a wimp. Who cares if it’s four girls? It could be a thousand, it’s just walking and talking, not that hard. Hell, it’s not even that. It’s walking THEN talking, if you can walk and talk at the same time, this is a whole level easier. It’s just a group of girls, not Rommel’s Panzer Division.

  6. beatrice’s avatar

    bl1y is right, but unfortunately julien is even more. Europe is not like the US, and really now approaching a group of 4 or more girls? not really happening. Maybe that is why here in Milan I haven’t really seen more than 2 girls alone very often.

    But on a different note, this post is hilarious if it is done by you dear dabas. otherwise, it is sad. When did guys become so desperate as to ask for advice in finding genuine daba girls? What is this some column of a teen magazine? Where is all the confidence fbfs are suppsed to have? well at least this swiss guys just went down the drain…

  7. Bill’s avatar

    As a 32 year old banker, making mid 6 figures, I think a DABA must be completely presentable to me and able to be charming to my co-workers before I would consider making her my MABA. For now, I am looking at a number of women, trying them on for size, so to speak. This website appears to glorify bankers, so more power to you. I recommend that you tell the DABAs that they are not going to get a banker by being coy. They have to be out there, just like we are all day, drumming up business. But like us, once you make the sale, you stop selling.

  8. Asian Chat’s avatar

    Wow thank you for this. I myself have spent years of trying to find my perfect match, and look at what I got now. Great post! Keep it coming!

  9. Timo, Zürich.’s avatar

    Hi All,

    Daba Girls - thank you for your comments and help, points and michael jackson tribute duly noted.

    Lorri - i do drop by New York from time to time and i don’t know the city that well, i love good food and need a guide if you are willing, the reward could be a meal in a restaurant of your choosing…?

    Julien - agreed, without practice and a bit of luck, suicide.

    Met Mum - i agree with some of what you say, a true daba girl is hard to come by over here, however I think that Zurich has changed and is not so dead any longer, there are definately some great clubs and bars for all ages…

    BL1Y - thanks for the comments, i just wonder what the daba girls have to say about your last comment, remember “hell hath no fury…”

    Thanks again all!

    Timo

  10. www.triportreats.com’s avatar

    This is very accurate and true especially for women who want to find a self assured, secure man who is not afraid of an independent woman. Of course, said independent women also enjoy the pleasures of gentlemanly conduct.

  11. Eve’s avatar

    I must be honest, after reading a few entries I find myself wondering how women can be this materialistic. I’m aware this blog is written with a sense of humour in mind, but it comes off as very elitist, as if some of the most important things in life are determined by their price tag. Seriously, $300 for a first date? Everyone likes to have nice things, but it’s the sense of entitlement here that bothers me.
    Why should anyone seek someone to become involved with solely based on his career, and what he can buy? It’s incredibly shallow. I’m not saying unemployed men with no motivation are off the hook, we all want a man that isn’t afraid to take charge of his life. However, there needs to be a middle ground somewhere. If you want that ‘certain lifestyle’, get it for yourself. Being ‘honest’ about expecting someone to provide it for you, a.k.a buy overpriced designer shoes for you, doesn’t make it right.

  12. Rachel K’s avatar

    Well Timo, Good luck with your hunt for a DABA girl. You may have missed an excellent opportunity to find some potential DABA girls at that “Fashion Meets Finance” event in NYC. The tagline for the event was “Women of Fashion Meet the Men of Finance”, sounds like it could’ve been just what you needed! Check out the article below to see what you missed:

    http://www.askmelissa.com/index.php/out-on-the-scene/finance-meets-fashion/

  13. A bona fide DABA’s avatar

    I’ve been a DABA girl for most my life. I was an eighties baby so the first hint of the glamorous life I saw on tv was in the movie Wall Street.
    I’ve had my share of dud FBFs. Guys who thought they were the SHIT and treated me as if I was a disposable napkin. But after many painful and sometimes humiliating encounters with potential FBFs, I’ve found my Prince charming.
    I’m currently in a serious relationship with a v successful banker who’s also sweet, respectful and funny - we’re talking marriage, babies etc. it’s been a long road but I’m so happy in every aspect of the life he’s providing for me now!

  14. dabagirls’s avatar

    Thanks for reminding us there’s hope