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A Confederate Clarifies

May 4, 2009 in DABIT speak by dabagirls | 21 comments

 

"Oh, FBF! Please, don't go! You can't leave me!"

"DABA, I only know that I love you."

 

Hello DABA girls!

I’ve been reading your posts for a while and loooove it! I am a proud DABIT about to graduate and move to NY to get a taste of what it has to offer. Currently, I live in the South, which has been my home my entire life. I love it but this place has gotten too small for me. My FBF (as a joke) was the one who introduced me to this site and I’ve been hooked ever since! Lately though, I’ve noticed that many of the ladies who are reading the posts and leaving a comment or two, really have no idea what a DABA really is. Being a DABIT myself and having landed an amazing FBF of my own, I feel it’s necessary for me to jump in and clarify a couple things.

Well first off, ladies out there who are reading, pretty girls are a dime a dozen!  That’s one of the last things that distinguishes a DABA from a Bottle Poppin’ girl.  We DABAs or DABITs have MUCH more to offer than mere appearances. We are beautiful, yes. We are smart, DOUBLE YES. We can make a living making six figures on our own, ABSOLUTELY! Do we need an FBF, well not really. We only strive to find someone who can keep up with us and are worthy of us. I myself, if put in a room with a bunch of pretty girls would fit right in. Put me in a room with business execs, I would fit right in there as well. Girls like us are very hard to find much like the FBFs who are looking for us. We deserve the lavish lifestyle with an amazing guy, because we have EARNED it; and we want a man for the long-term, not a sugar daddy (Bottle Poppin’ Girls want sugar daddies, we want FBFs). We don’t spend five hours at the gym, spa and in front of the mirror to find a guy. We definitely stay fit, but we also have better things to do with our time. We work hard, study hard, and party harder than the best of them.

The beauty of a DABA is the fact that we are a challenge. How do you think the those potential FBFs got where they are today? They worked their butts off and pushed through every obstacle that was thrown their way. You think they want someone who is isn’t going to challenge them? The answer is “no,” ladies, in case you were wondering. That’s why it’s so important to be educated and tough. I may not be as tough as my fellow NY DABAs, but I would bet I could give them a run for their money. Of course like all men, FBFs want someone who can love and support them BUT also keep them on their toes and keep their egos in check. My FBF has been getting job offers in NY; but he doesn’t want to leave me here, which is really sweet. I keep telling him I’m a big girl and can handle myself if he wanted to move up there. It keeps him thinking I can do without him and even do better, which in turn keeps him coming back. Aspiring DABAs out there, don’t sell yourself short and those girls who think they’re DABAs please step up your game because your looks aren’t going to cut it.

Love to all my DABAs and DABITS!!

~Southern Belle

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Oooh La La!!!

April 20, 2009 in DABIT speak by dabagirls | 15 comments

 

"Yoohoo! FBFs! Up here, it's moi, your favorite DABITs Linds!"

"Yoohoo! FBFs! Up here, it's moi, your favorite DABITs Linds!"

 

Bonjour DABAs and DABITs! Linds here with some updates for those of you longingly searching for the FBF in NYC.

My most recent discovery, ma cheries, comes to our fair Island from far, far away. Think back to your study abroad days. Those European boys were exciting, they were fun, they knew how to have a good time. Yes, they wore the same skinny JBrand’s as you did and had some interesting ideas on male ‘dos, but remember how much fun you had with them at Queen in Paris until 4 a.m.? When you let Marco walk you home and buy you late night chocolate croissants? And then that fantastically wonderful rendezvous behind the hotel….? No? Was that just me????

Oh, ladies, you remember. It was fun and exciting because they were foreign, they were mysterious, and they ADORED American girls. Well, good news bébés!! They have come to New York!!!

I was recently set up with a French guy, we’ll call him Pierre.  Pierre is here for a year on an amazing exchange program from his office in Paris, and is working in the New York office of an insurance firm. Upon meeting him, I was completely thrown off by his très European style, but 3 dirty martinis later, VOILA! I realized what a catch Pierre was! NYC FBFs have been totally down in the dumps since the recession. They hate their jobs but are holding on to them for their dear lives. They don’t know what else to do with four years at Yale and an apartment in Chelsea that father dearest would rather die than help their son pay for. But these Europeans, chickies, they are fab. They LOVE New York and love New York City girls. Take Pierre:

Moi: So are you enjoying your time in NYC?

Pierre: Mais oui chérie! New York is the most fabulous city in the world!

Moi: [Blusing, because I take credit for this] Oh no… J’adore Paris! Paris is far more wonderful!

Pierre: Non non non! I never want to leave New York. The restaurants, the nightlife, the girls!!!

Moi: [Blushing again] Oh Pierre, promise me you’ll never, ever leave!

The last part I said to myself… I hope.

Well, Pierre wants to do everything and anything in NYC. In the past week he has suggested Chloe, La Esquina, Rose Bar, and the likes. I may have to drag him to Bloomie’s for some appropriate denim wear, but that’s nothing a little helpful DABIT push can’t fix. 

Tata for now DABITS, and bon chance!

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DABA Tidbits at Sweet Revenge

April 14, 2009 in DABA Tidbits, DABIT speak by dabagirls | 7 comments

 

Yamma, yamma, yamma!

Yamma, yamma, yamma!

 

Sunday I met up with Rachel, one of our Chi-town DABIT contributors who was in the city for Easter weekend. Indistinguishable from their NY counterparts, except for their higher tolerance towards the cold, Rachel was obviously down to grab cupcakes mid-afternoon. We navigated our way through SoHo, destination Sweet Revenge. Sweet Revenge is the new “It” cupcake place having just won Time Out’s best new cupcake title. We at DABA headquarters love it for a number of reasons, they serve wine and beer, perfect for drinking off recession blues, their Happy Hour special of a cupcake + a glass of wine for $10 keeps us and our dates equally happy, and their cupcakes are way more fabulous than their too sugary Magnolia counterpart. Best of all, it’s tourist-free.*

Once we got settled, I found out that her and her fellow college DABITs have found their college bars empty, drinks suddenly NOT flowing for free, and their future FBFs nowhere in sight. She told me the tale of one of her besties, who is currently seeing–and by seeing she means a couple dates, an invite to his fraternity formal, and many rendezvous at the bars that end in sleepovers–an IFBF, an Intern Finance guy Boyfriend. You know, the hot young college guy who delivers the mail, answers the phone, and does just about anything our FBFs ask in hopes to some day be just like them. 

However, lately the said IFBF has been working overtime, canceling major ragers at his house, missing bar specials on Wednesday nights (apparently Wednesday is the new Thursday), and dipping out of his fraternity’s mixers. Why? Because he is afraid that when he graduates, the state of our economy will prevent him from finding a job. His brilliant solution is to put more hours in at his internship, make a good name for himself, and be able to hopefully swoop right in when he graduates and land one of the coveted non-existent jobs.

 “DABA girls” she pleaded, “I beg of you to ask your FBFs (even though I know they’ve added this site to their favorites) to give their interns a break. Let them know they’re only in college once; they’re too young to worry about the economy and finances, especially when M&D are still footing the bills; they should be spending their time planning themed parties and Striving for Five (getting black out five days a week, a basic requirement of college life). Have them let their interns know that they have faith in the economy (even if they don’t) and that all their hard work will definitely pay off when they graduate (even if it won’t).”

“Don’t do it just for us” she said, practically crying into her cream cheese frosting, “but for all the other DABITs who are having girls’ nights EVERY night due to the lack of male representation, who are taking themselves out all lonesome to art openings and charity events, who wear their brand new Alice+Olivia dresses around the house for each other and not out on the town where they should be seen.”

Despite my combo sugar and caffeine buzz, I heard DABIT Rachel’s plight.

To all our beloved FBFs who read our blog, we’re confident that, if you encourage your intern to venture out of his cubicle, he’ll go back to being the attentive IFBF he once was. And by this, we mean he will 1) evade our baby DABITs’ calls (teaching them the valuable lesson of playing hard to get) 2) slum with Bottle Poppin’ GITS until 3) he realizes that DABITs are SO much more attractive and classy. Not to mention the fact that letting IFBFs have some fun every once in awhile will increase their ability to work efficiently… if only so they can hurry out to their frat parties.

 Thanks a bunch!

XO

The DABA Girls

*Note: Don’t even think about spreading this info through the blog-o-sphere. We promise you that any tour company that leads out of towners to our new spot will feel the wrath of DABA.

 

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The Great Sample Sale Quagmire

March 30, 2009 in DABIT speak by dabagirls | 9 comments

 

"Look! Over there! Marc Jacobs sample sale- 80% off retail! Ruuuuun!!!"

"Look! Over there! Marc Jacobs sample sale- 80% off retail! Ruuuuun!!!"

 

Good morning DABAs,

We have joined, along with Lindsey and Tiff, the DABA In Training program (For details please see the definition of “DABIT” that has just been added to the DABA Dictionary).  Our lives are geared towards becoming full-fledged DABA girls. As DABITs, we follow closely the plight of the DABA girls. We can see what this recession has done to you and your FBFs, and we want you to know that from the bottom of our hearts that we wish you the very best in these trying times.

We have, however, noticed something tres exciting, which will bring all DABAs some much-needed rose-colored-glasses - though they may have had their moment twelve seasons ago.  We’re sure that you remember from Econ 101 that as markets decrease, sales increase.  That means DABIT spending has increased at an untenable rate.  Would YOU say “no” to a $30 Ben Sherman shirtdress?  We didn’t think so.  Ladies, the market is down but so are retail prices, and with price tags like these, you can’t afford not to buy!  You’ll be giving up a few lunches at Tomoe Sushi, but at the rate finance guys are asking us out (and this rate is “no interest”), we could all stand to give up a few lunches, period.

Ladies, you are our older sisters, our cool cousins, our mother’s friend’s daughter we always hear about over Winter Break.  We need your reassurance that everything will turn out the way we have planned but just to hold off on telling our families which silver pattern we have selected.  You need our reassurance that you “definitely need” pretty much anything from any sample sale, regardless of what “he” says about “tightening the belt.” We need your advice on how to successfully nab our own FBFs.  You need us to tell you “you deserve better” than your Crackberry’d out FBF. 

Stay strong for your DABITs.

Kelley, Rachel, and Sarah.

DABIT and DABA Girl empathizers (wish we could be sympathizers)

 

Dear Kelley, Rachel, and Sarah,

The sample sale phenomenon has not gone unnoticed here at DABA Girl headquarters. Trust us, no one rocked the “I forgot my pants” shirtdress look more than us last season.  Does that mean that you should buy 5 at a sample sale just because they’re $30? NEGATIVE. On the other hand, if you manage to nab an invitation to the YSL sample sale this season, should you snatch up your dream heels marked down to $150? DEFINITELY.

Do you see the distinction?

Let’s break it down:

Look for long-term investments, whether that be a wide gladiator belt or a FBF. We only buy pieces that transition easily from winter to spring, from night to walk of shame, from starvation diet skinny to PMS emotional eating fat.  The same goes for FBFs. No need to be dating a guy who is going to flip out every time a bank gets bailed out or AIG get sued.  If you’re going to waste your pre-injectables years tied up in a relationship, it better be one that’s going to last.

Still not clear?

It’s ok, for you, we have all day:

Just because the tag says “Chanel” and its on sale doesn’t mean you should buy it.  DABA Girls don’t brand worship.  Sex and the City the Movie got it wrong. 

AND WE QUOTE, “Year after year, twenty-something women come to New York City in search of the two “L”s: labels and love.” 

Clearly, some Hollywood producer who thought he could write must have added that story line.  If we were label obsessed we would have stayed in our respective small towns and had new designer handbags shipped to us every month. Instead, we blow $2,000 per month to rent 500 square feet of barely livable space.  Be wary little DABITs.  It’s an easy mistake to make, especially with our very own Carrie Bradshaw leading you astray.

DABAs don’t do second rate. We don’t buy Miu Miu on sale if we wouldn’t have coveted it at full-price and we certainly don’t date guys that we don’t genuinely want to be spending time with. Unless of course they have a yacht and we’re in need of a tan. J/k. And by j/k, we mean not j/k, obvi.

In the midst of yellow and red daily warning levels, we cherish anything rose colored. Thank you for your support.  Please feel free to write in often and don’t stress, by the time you DABITs are of marriageable age, this whole messy recession business will have blown over.  For now, just focus on straight A’s so you can land your dream New York jobs (Seriously straight A’s.  B’s may fly in D.C. but not in this town).

Kisses galore,

The DABA Girls Extraordinaire

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Finance Fries

March 25, 2009 in DABIT speak by dabagirls | 13 comments

 

I'd love a side of FBF with my burger please!

I'd love a side of FBF with my burger please!

 

Lindsey here with some excellent DABIT news!!!

As I wrote last week, my little DABIT heart is being filled with hope as “spring thaw” approaches in NYC. Just Friday my fellow DABITS and I headed to Pipa to start out our Friday with multiple pitchers of Sangria, and then we were off to Meatpacking for some Middlebury boy action. What we got was an overcrowded bar with expensive drinks and not a decent boy to be found.  Enter, our very good guy friends from college, who have held on to their finance jobs despite massive layoffs at their respective banks. John, who is definite FGF material (and single, ladies! They are out there!) has been working 8 days a week to make up for the losses on his team. John is obviously a little disheartened…

John: “The second my company folds, I am moving to Dubai.  That’s where everything is, Dubai.”

Me: “What?????”

John: “New York is dead, ma cherie, time to pull the plug.  Overpriced and overdevleoped.  Dubai baby, Dubai”

I’m now wanting to throw up and punch him in his very adorable face.  Could this really be happening? I closed my eyes, clicked my heels, and repeated “There’s no place like New York,” but when I opened them all I found was a fresh tequila shot in front of my face and some guy getting dry humped at the next table. The DABIT gods must have been listening, however, because sleeping soundly avec eye mask well into the afternoon on Saturday, I was awoken by a bbm from my BFF with my 3 favorite B’s: 

“Bankers. Bloodys. Burgers. STAT.”

My two best girl friends, both happily taken, had done what a DABIT’s BFF should always do, they had recruited boys for me.  I had my new Theory dress on before my eyes were fully open.  Traveling to the UWS, which may as well be Guam, wasn’t ideal, but these are desperate times.  Surely I could head northwest for such a noble cause.  I was greeted at Shake Shack by my BFFs and three guys with instantly apparent FBF Potential. The quick run down was better than it had been in months: cute, check! smart, check! think I’m funny, check! and, of course, have jobs…  check check!!!!!!!!! 

FBF Potential #1: “This place has the best burgers in NYC.”

Me: “Ohhh darling, you haven’t a clue who you’re talking to, Corner Bistro?? Burger Joint??”

FBF Potential #1: “Those are great too.  We should go sometime.”

Me: “Definitely.”

FBF Potential #1: “How’s next weekend?”

And voila! Easy. Clean. Simple 

They are out there DABITS, you just have to know where to look, and much to our collective chagrin, that may entail crossing over 14th Street on a weekend.   Still if they ply me with bloody’s and burgers, I may even be wiling to walk the plank (AKA the Brooklyn Bridge)….

Don’t get excited, I said nothing about the Holland Tunnel.  

xxx 

linds 

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And Now, a Word From Our DABIT

March 19, 2009 in DABIT speak by dabagirls | 11 comments

 

Yoohoo, FBFs, Come out, come out where ever you are!

Yoohoo, FBFs, Come out, come out where ever you are!

 

Ohhhhhh DABAs, its one of your favorite DABITs - Lindsey!

It pains me to read of your Tuesday night woes, and what this means for the 18-24 age bracket.  Do we too have to pretend to be in college in an attempt to come across as easily impressed by down-and-out-bankers?  We’re soooo over college.

The question, undoubtedly, on every DABIT’s mind since she moved to NYC has been “where has the party gone?” We were promised the good life (you’ve got some explaining to do Candace Bushnell!) and had done our part, we: lost the beer weight; bought expensive shoes that would never grace a frat basement floor; and spent hours on Urbandaddy researching NYC hotspots. Well, I swear on my very first pair of Manolos that we have been shocked at what we’ve seen. It’s like a bad dream where we keep showing up to the party just a moment too fashionably late.  There doesn’t seem to be a dream banker boyfriend in sight. Are they working late at the office?  Wallowing in their apartments?  Taking out NYU girls?? Or has New York officially become last season.

Fear not, DABAs and DABITs, along with our new found bank accounts and appreciation for sample sales, we have also found new hope.  Spring is upon us and our older DABA sisters have been singing to us of New York’s famed “spring thaw” aka, mating season.  As soon as it warms up DABITs, making their spring thaw debut, will be clad in size small shirts charading as size extra small dresses and this crappy recession will have nothing on happy hours open to the street and the summer beers on tap (for him, of course).  Couple the impending spring thaw with the great few days for the market last week and everyone seems to be joining forces to make New York fun again. (The alternative would be relocating to LA, which is not a viable option.  I signed a 2-year lease). 

St. Patty’s day was a great beginning: there were more guys in suits walking around than we have seen in our entire New York DABIT existence. They are emerging from their recession hibernation, and, we hope, looking for some DABITs!  NYC needs a pick me up, and that’s just what the DABITs are going to give it.  Come out, come out where ever you are dream finance guys…

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