"Look! Over there! Marc Jacobs sample sale- 80% off retail! Ruuuuun!!!"
Good morning DABAs,
We have joined, along with Lindsey and Tiff, the DABA In Training program (For details please see the definition of “DABIT” that has just been added to the DABA Dictionary). Our lives are geared towards becoming full-fledged DABA girls. As DABITs, we follow closely the plight of the DABA girls. We can see what this recession has done to you and your FBFs, and we want you to know that from the bottom of our hearts that we wish you the very best in these trying times.
We have, however, noticed something tres exciting, which will bring all DABAs some much-needed rose-colored-glasses - though they may have had their moment twelve seasons ago. We’re sure that you remember from Econ 101 that as markets decrease, sales increase. That means DABIT spending has increased at an untenable rate. Would YOU say “no” to a $30 Ben Sherman shirtdress? We didn’t think so. Ladies, the market is down but so are retail prices, and with price tags like these, you can’t afford not to buy! You’ll be giving up a few lunches at Tomoe Sushi, but at the rate finance guys are asking us out (and this rate is “no interest”), we could all stand to give up a few lunches, period.
Ladies, you are our older sisters, our cool cousins, our mother’s friend’s daughter we always hear about over Winter Break. We need your reassurance that everything will turn out the way we have planned but just to hold off on telling our families which silver pattern we have selected. You need our reassurance that you “definitely need” pretty much anything from any sample sale, regardless of what “he” says about “tightening the belt.” We need your advice on how to successfully nab our own FBFs. You need us to tell you “you deserve better” than your Crackberry’d out FBF.
Stay strong for your DABITs.
Kelley, Rachel, and Sarah.
DABIT and DABA Girl empathizers (wish we could be sympathizers)
Dear Kelley, Rachel, and Sarah,
The sample sale phenomenon has not gone unnoticed here at DABA Girl headquarters. Trust us, no one rocked the “I forgot my pants” shirtdress look more than us last season. Does that mean that you should buy 5 at a sample sale just because they’re $30? NEGATIVE. On the other hand, if you manage to nab an invitation to the YSL sample sale this season, should you snatch up your dream heels marked down to $150? DEFINITELY.
Do you see the distinction?
Let’s break it down:
Look for long-term investments, whether that be a wide gladiator belt or a FBF. We only buy pieces that transition easily from winter to spring, from night to walk of shame, from starvation diet skinny to PMS emotional eating fat. The same goes for FBFs. No need to be dating a guy who is going to flip out every time a bank gets bailed out or AIG get sued. If you’re going to waste your pre-injectables years tied up in a relationship, it better be one that’s going to last.
Still not clear?
It’s ok, for you, we have all day:
Just because the tag says “Chanel” and its on sale doesn’t mean you should buy it. DABA Girls don’t brand worship. Sex and the City the Movie got it wrong.
AND WE QUOTE, “Year after year, twenty-something women come to New York City in search of the two “L”s: labels and love.”
Clearly, some Hollywood producer who thought he could write must have added that story line. If we were label obsessed we would have stayed in our respective small towns and had new designer handbags shipped to us every month. Instead, we blow $2,000 per month to rent 500 square feet of barely livable space. Be wary little DABITs. It’s an easy mistake to make, especially with our very own Carrie Bradshaw leading you astray.
DABAs don’t do second rate. We don’t buy Miu Miu on sale if we wouldn’t have coveted it at full-price and we certainly don’t date guys that we don’t genuinely want to be spending time with. Unless of course they have a yacht and we’re in need of a tan. J/k. And by j/k, we mean not j/k, obvi.
In the midst of yellow and red daily warning levels, we cherish anything rose colored. Thank you for your support. Please feel free to write in often and don’t stress, by the time you DABITs are of marriageable age, this whole messy recession business will have blown over. For now, just focus on straight A’s so you can land your dream New York jobs (Seriously straight A’s. B’s may fly in D.C. but not in this town).
Kisses galore,
The DABA Girls Extraordinaire
